If Only
by ilovehouse
Summary: This is a HouseCameron story set after HalfWit. It is titled If Only because if things happened my way they would have happened differently. My first fic ever.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own House or really anything else for that matter.

This story is set after Half-Wit

The sun was starting to set on yet another day at Princeton Plainsborough. Dr. House was still in his office, leaned back in his chair with his legs propped up and being comforted yet again by his iPod. He had debated going home, but that would require movement and really what was there to do there that he couldn't do here. It seemed like everyone else had gone home and his patient had been released earlier in the day so there was nobody around to annoy him, as far as he was concerned he was in heaven.

He could feel sleep start to overcome him and wasn't even trying to fight it when he heard the swoosh of the door opening. He decided not to open his eyes and just let the voice of the character surprise him.

"Are you asleep?" The unmistakable voice of Wilson had entered the room.

"No, I was just seeing if that old saying of; 'if I can't see them they can't see me' was really true. Apparently, it isn't."

"So you're still here."

"Nope, this is just a figment of your imagination." If Wilson was just going to lay them out there like that he really had no choice but to throw them back.

"I just meant that it is late, and you are usually doing anything you can to get out the door."

"The only time I'm trying to get out the door is if someone is annoying me like a patient, Cameron, Cuddy or you." House swung his legs down and sat straight up with his arms crossed. If the truth had to be known he liked his conversations with Wilson. They were too the point and purposeful, not like most other conversations where it is thirty minutes of numbing pleasantries and two minutes of what you really want. Although, even Wilson could beat around the bush occasionally, and now seemed to be one of those times.

Wilson pulled up a chair. He knew he was about to have a useless conversation, but he had to hope that somewhere deep inside him, House heard him. He hadn't really heard him about Stacy, or his vicodin use, or anything involving his patients, but he was bound to hit a topic he could win eventually. The odds of it being this one were slim.

"So, it was an interesting day today. You seem to be the talk of the hospital." Wilson thought it was best to ease into the conversation; he wouldn't get anywhere badgering House.

"Is that supposed to be new news? When am I not the talk of the hospital?"

You couldn't argue with that. Between the fights, shootings, his lovely bedside manner and everything else House was a stranger to no one. Most doctors knew what was going on with House, his team and his patient better than they knew about their own patient.

"For some weird reason, people seem to forget that these walls are made of glass. I mean really, some people think they could just kiss someone without anyone noticing." Wilson was so good at that sarcastic tone that you almost wouldn't recognize him without it.

House's head eased downward. Suddenly the carpet was the most interesting thing in the room. He had been had and he knew it. She had played him just the same way that he had played so many others including her. He had let his guard down and then left to look like a fool.

"It was nothing." If only. It was something alright House wasn't exactly sure what it was, but it was far from nothing.

"You kissed Cameron. How can you say that is nothing?" Wilson hadn't finished but House cut him off.

"No, she kissed me, apparently that glass everyone is looking through needs some cleaning. She likes me, she kissed me, and I kicked her butt out, end of story." House finished his thought with a cocked eyebrow and nod of the head noting that he was already tired of this conversation.

Wilson just ignored his warning signs because it wasn't likely that House would give him the time of day to finish this conversation any other time.

"And you didn't do anything to entice the kiss or keep it going. Because where I come from the tilting of heads or swapping of spit isn't exactly how you push someone away. In fact, where I come from that indicates mutual feelings and a general like toward someone."

"Well since you come from the land of care bears the act of breathing indicates some sort of like for another person. And death glances mean to by all means please continue the conversation." Wilson may be good at sarcasm, but House was the king.

"House!"

"Wilson."

"You need to talk about this." Wilson was trying desperately to get through to him. He could see that he was failing because House had already begun gathering his things up so he could go.

"No, I don't need to talk about this; you want to talk about this. I told you it was nothing, it is over and now you and Cameron can go back to care bear land and make some more rainbows." House said while continuing to search for his stuff. All that was left from freeing him from this conversation was his jacket. Stupid jacket, eh, maybe he would just steal Wilson's on the way out.

House had begun making his way toward the door and was surprised that Wilson was giving up so easily. He had just placed his hand on the doorknob when Wilson spoke again, so much for giving up.

"House, you are going to end up alone."

All House could do was turn and look back. Then the carpet had caught his attention again. His only reply was to go ahead and open the door leaving Wilson behind knowing that truer words were never spoken.

* * *

This is the first fanfic that I have ever written of any kind, but I love the show House, so I thought I would give it a try. Hope you like. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own House

Kind of a nervousness to post a story on here for the first time ever, but I appreciate the feedback. I figure this story will be about three chapters long and I have a new appreciation for all you great writers out there. This is not easy and there are so many of you who are so great at it.

Here is the story

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Allison Cameron had it. That nervousness, that tingly feeling you get in your gut when you can't stop thinking about something. She definitely had it, and she definitely hadn't stopped thinking about it. How could she? She had kissed Greg House for goodness sakes.

It hadn't been her plan to kiss him, it just sort of happened that way. Her intention was to give him the resignation letter, let him yell at her for being ridiculous about the whole thing, and since he thought everything was no big deal, beg him to let her draw some blood from some tests. In no part of that plan was anything about a kiss mentioned, but things never seem to go as planned when it comes to House. He hadn't yelled at her for being ridiculous, instead he seemed genuine and soft. The words he had spoken were different, but what she had heard was, "I don't want you to go." So she did it. She kissed him in front of God and everybody and he had kissed her back. When that shock wore off she remembered why she had come and went after the needle, stupid, stupid needle. Well, maybe stupid, stupid Cameron.

The kiss seemed to be over as quick as it had begun and _then_ the yelling came. This wasn't the movies after all. They weren't going to stare confused into each other's eyes, and then fiddle around for their words until one of them found an excuse to leave. She actually preferred that is hadn't happened that way because that would have left an awkwardness between them. The way it ended it had seemed like the kiss was in her plans all along and nobody needed to know differently, especially House.

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"House I've got a patient for you."

He had barely made his way through the door of PPTH before Cuddy had started after him. House stopped in his tracks and turned to face her with a questioningly look on his face.

"Do you sit at your office window and just count the seconds until you see me pull up?" House asked.

Cuddy knew that it was nearly impossible to have a real conversation with the man and playing along with his ruses seemed to get her places faster than actually trying to act like his boss.

"As a matter of fact I do," she said back in a sweet tone with a smile on her face. "It takes me to my happy place."

"Good to know I've still got it," House smirked back seductively. "How nice of this person to hold off on getting sick until I was finished with my other patient, funny how that happens."

"The world works hard to please you House, here is the file, have fun." Cuddy handed him the file and swiftly turned to walk away, with any luck she would be out of sight before House looked at the file.

"NO WAY!"

Darn, no such luck. Any other time she would have had time to walk to another state before House got one of his fellows to read him that file, but luckily Cuddy knew just the way to handle House, she ignored him and just kept walking.

"There is no way that I am treating a Reverend, Cuddy," House yelled after her. He didn't care if the man was an eight legged freak with every symptom know to man, there was no way this was happening.

House made his way up to his office and headed straight for the coffee maker. Chase and Cameron were sitting around the table with files in hand.

"So with these symptoms he is presenting I'm thinking it might be…" Chase started off confidently, but was cut off before he could go any further.

"Don't care," House shrugged while pouring the coffee.

"You don't care about the symptoms?" Chase asked confused. House had some weird methods sometimes, but this was definitely new.

"Nope," House replied nonchalantly.

"Well, why not?" Chase asked.

"Because I don't have a patient," House said. "And it is kind of hard to do a differential of symptoms that don't exist on a patient who doesn't exist."

"But Cuddy came in here half an hour ago with these case files…," again House cut him off.

"She changed her mind," House shrugged. "You know women, can't live with them, can't kill them and get away with it." He managed to say that last line while giving Cameron a knowing look.

"No, she didn't change her mind," Foreman came in the room saying like he was tattling on his brother. "I just met her in the hallway. This is our new patient House, get over it."

"No, I will not get over it," House mocked back. "This is your guys' patient. I don't have time to waste on someone who is going to fight me tooth and nail over everything because that is what God intended."

The three fellows gathered their stuff and began to head out the door. House could play games if he wanted, but they had a patient to take care of. Cameron was the last to try and make her way out the door, but stopped short when she heard House's voice.

"Cameron, we need to talk."

Words couldn't describe how she was feeling, she was quite certain that those words hadn't been invented yet. There was little doubt what this conversation was going to be about. Nevertheless she followed him into his connecting office bravely.

House limped over and sat on his desk, popped a couple of vicodin and prepared himself for what was about to happen. He looked anywhere but at Cameron, no sense in putting it off any longer.

"I kissed you back," he said flatly without meaning, just like it was a fact that everyone was suppose to know.

Cameron didn't know what to say and she wasn't sure she knew where this conversation was going. Her only response was to shove her hands in the pockets of her lab coat and stare at House with a mix of concern and confusion. A look she had no doubt perfected by now.

House continued on, "you're fired." Like he had said there was no point in beating around the bush about things, it was pointless.

"What! I'm fired because I kissed you? House, you have done things a million times worse than that!" Cameron was yelling, well about as loud as a mouse could yell. She was animated, she was confused, and if this was supposed to be a joke she wasn't finding it very funny.

"Well it is a good thing you aren't my boss then, but I am your boss and you are fired." He was looking at her now, not angrily but definitely wide eyed. She needed to know that he was serious and this wasn't something that she could talk her way out of.

"So what, when things get just a tad bit tough, you just run away from the problem?" Cameron was fighting for her job, for her life really.

"Um, yeah," House said simply and with a jerk of the eyebrows. "Look Cameron you quit to take care of your issues, so I'm firing you to take care of mine. It all makes perfect sense to me."

"You don't think there would be any benefit to talking about any of this? Maybe find out why you kissed me back, why I kissed you in the first place?" She had moved closer to him now, her eyes were searching him for answers. They weren't finding much of anything.

"There is nothing to talk about; you're fired that's it," he said it bluntly.

House was dealing with this issue the same way he dealt with everything else. Just get it over with and move on. There was no sense in having the complication of Cameron in his life. Nothing was ever going to happen between them and he didn't want to deal with every glance, every touch, and every word between them like it was suppose to mean something. He was tired of it already.

"Fine," Cameron said.

She turned on her heels and walked out. House's eyes followed after her, but his body never made an attempt to move. This was the way he needed it to be.


	3. Chapter 3

House sat behind his desk letting his mind wander. He was trying to focus on anything that didn't involve Cameron. Where was Cuddy when he needed her? He guessed the ruse was working because he hadn't even noticed that Wilson had walked into his office with files in hand.

"What are you doing?" Wilson asked sort of puzzled, but with House Wilson had set that expression to default.

"Nothing, just basking in my awesomeness," was House's reply. "What are you doing?"

Wilson handed the files to House. "I was just looking through these results and your patient doesn't have cancer."

"That's great, it would be even better if I actually had a patient," House dropped the files to his desk as he was speaking without even giving them a glance.

"You don't have a patient?" Wilson said confused. "Then who have I been running all these tests on?"

"No idea," House shrugged.

"Well whoever it is they don't have cancer," Wilson said defeated. "Where is everybody?"

"Foreman and Chase are with the patient," House began but Wilson soon interrupted.

"You just said you didn't have a patient."

"I _don't_ have a patient since I am neither Foreman nor Chase, thank God." House mocked.

"Where is Cameron?" Wilson was curious if anything else had happened between the two and since he hadn't seen the two together at all today he was guessing one of two things was happening. They were either avoiding each other, or they had talked and it hadn't ended well.

"No idea," was all House would give away for an answer.

"Well," Wilson shrugged, "if she isn't with a patient she is probably eating lunch in the cafeteria or something."

"I would go with the or something," House responded.

"Why? What's going on House?" Wilson asked. He didn't know whether to be concerned, curious, neither or both. He could never tell with House.

"Cameron doesn't seem like the type to eat lunches in a cafeteria where she doesn't work." House answered just like it was the most normal and obvious thing in the world. He didn't like where the conversation was going, but he thought it might be best to get it over with early.

"I'm not following House. Did something happen between you two? Did she quit?" Wilson knew that this couldn't be good for House. If he had opened up to her and she had turned him down, well, he hoped that wasn't the case.

"No, she didn't quit. I fired her." He said nonchalantly.

"You fired her? What? Why?" Wilson was now completely confused. He didn't always understand House's methods, but he usually knew his motives, this time he didn't understand anything.

"It doesn't matter why, I'm her boss, and I can do what I want." House had never moved from behind his desk, but he was becoming more and more uncomfortable.

"House, to you it always matters why. What is going on? Don't you want to be happy?" Wilson was genuinely concerned.

"Oh, you make me perfectly happy Jimmy, don't sell yourself so short," House responded back.

"So you're happy. You can hardly stand to be around people, you don't trust anyone, you have no healthy relationships, you're addicted to painkillers…"

"Stop flattering me Jimmy, you're making me blush," House cut him off. There was no need to recap his miserable life every time they had a conversation.

"For Christ's sake House you can't even have a normal conversation about yourself," Wilson raged on.

To have someone concerned about him was rare for House. Not many people in his life genuinely cared about him and he may have just let one of them go. That didn't mean, however, that he was going to open up abut anything though, so he felt relieved when Foreman and Chase entered his office.

"We just got the test results back, turns out the patient just had a bad allergic reaction," Foreman said interrupting.

"What are you telling me for, go tell the patient," House remarked.

"We will, but is everything ok in here? We could hear you all the way down the hall, and where is Cameron? She didn't help us run any of the tests," Chase asked.

"House fired her," Wilson mocked.

"What? Why?" Foreman asked confused.

"Never mind, I'll go tell the patient," House said. Reverend or not House would do anything to get away from another conversation that involved him and Cameron.

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House walked into the patient's room. He could see that the Reverend was sitting up on the bed with his head bowed down. What an idiot House thought.

"Whatcha doing," House said sarcastically knowing he was interrupting.

"Just praying," the patient responded back somberly.

"Hmm, well you're going to be fine. You had an allergic reaction, this should take care of it," House said while administering the medicine.

"Oh, thanks," the patient said clearly relieved.

"Yes, thank me, not Him," House said pointing upward. "He didn't have anything to do with it."

"I take it you don't believe in God."

"Wait, how did you know that? Did God tell you?" House mocked back.

"So you're an atheist?"

"Well if that is what you kids are calling it these days." House was ready for this. These were the kinds of conversations he was good at and enjoyed. He would get to put this choir boy in his place and get Cameron off his mind at the same time.

The Reverend just laughed. "I'm amazed that more people don't see the irony in that."

"The irony in what," House asked, he had to admit that his interest was piqued.

"An atheist not believing in a God is pretty ironic. In order for you to know for a fact that no God exists, then you would have to, in effect, know everything. If you didn't know everything then you couldn't rule out the possibility. Then again, if you do know everything then you are omniscient, which is funny enough a characteristic of God. So what you are saying is you are God and you don't believe in yourself. With all do respect doctor, you're either God or you're a moron."

House just stared at him for a moment before speaking, "I'm not the one in the hospital for eating something I'm allergic to." Then he just turned and walked out. Not his best comeback but he wasn't expecting a Reverend to call him a moron either.

He was relieved to see that his office was empty. He wasn't in the mood for another pissing match. He just needed to think. Letting Cameron in his life was a risk. She said she wasn't interested in changing him, but how could she not be? That is all anyone was ever trying to do, was change something about him. And even if she didn't want to change him how long would it last? They got under each other's skin, they argued, they fought, and how long would it be before one of them couldn't stand to be around the other? House did have feelings for Cameron, but so far in his life his relationships with other people hadn't really worked out for him.

This was certainly a puzzle, but unfortunately for House it wasn't the kind that he could find the answer to first and then work from there. If he had learned anything today it was that he didn't know everything and he wasn't going to know the answer to this unless he got her back.

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Cameron was home alone, watching television. It really hadn't sunk in that House had fired her. She had expected things to be different between them, maybe have a heated conversation to get everything cleared away, but she never expected to be fired. She was in the middle of her thoughts when she heard the rasp on the door. She never even considered that is would be the person she saw on the other side.

"I want you to come back," He said plainly.

She barely had time to open the door before he started talking.

"Why?" She knew she wasn't about to have her emotions jerked around again.

"Boy this seems familiar," House mocked. His mood shifted though when he saw that she wasn't in the mood for his sarcasm. "Someone informed me today that I may not know everything," he finished.

Cameron had no response, but it was mainly because she had no idea what he was trying to say.

"Because, I want to be happy. You may make me happy or you may make me insane, but I don't know and I won't know unless you come back."

"Ok… come back as what?" Cameron asked.

"As my immunologist and…"

House thought about it for a minute and the he decided that thinking may be overrated. So he stepped forward and kissed her. Maybe he didn't know everything, maybe Cameron wouldn't make him happy, but then again maybe she would and he wanted to find out. It was a puzzle and he always had to complete the puzzle.


End file.
